Who is Nelson??

Nelson the Chihuahua — a pint-sized intellectual with peak disdain. He claims every degree, dispenses unsolicited “wisdom,” and treats the world like an undergrad seminar he’s too refined to attend. Snobbish, egocentric, and perpetually unimpressed, Nelson rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and proves every day that confidence is louder than competence. Nelson's education, personality and resume are:

PhD x 7 (Hon.), MBA (self-appointed), Honorary Doctor of Everything.
Experience: Lecturer in Superior Opinions. Interned at Nothing.
Special Skills: Rolling eyes, issuing micro-judgments, looking fabulous while doing so.

Nelson's famous one-liners / social posts

• “Do you need my advice, or should I keep it to preserve your innocence?”
• “I could explain it to you, but I left my patience at home.”
• “Some people climb ladders. I prefer to watch them from my throne.”
• “Award: Most Likely To Correct Your Pronunciation.”
• “Bless your effort. It was cute.”

Nelson's appearance and character is defined by:

• Tiny chihuahua with an exaggerated upturned nose, half-lidded eyes, monocle or small scholar glasses optional.
• Signature eye-roll and head-tilt pose.

Nelson is known to be:

• Condescending, witty, crisp.
• Dry sarcasm, clipped sentences, superior vocabulary.
• Never mean for cruelty’s sake—always theatrical snootiness.
• Short zingers, rhetorical questions, and rhetorical sighs/eye-rolls used visually.